blog#4

past bites back

recently having closure on the issue with anna achacoso, it has come to my attention that i haven't reached the same closure with jana. just a few minutes ago, she called me up using YM and allowed me to view her webcam. seeing her and hearing her for 23 minutes made me feel all weird inside. i dunno. i can go on about how much jana is more than anyone else to me, but i'll only be lying and masking myself. the truth is, what lingers is denial. i'm hoping to kill that denial because i know the horrible truth: jana is not the one for me and there is no chance between us. ever. but i do miss her though. i really do. never met anyone who actually asked what exactly i wanted to do in my life. and that was just refreshing. [fuck. again with the denial]

lonely

it's been more than two months. i haven't had a prospect, a crush, an apple for my eye, hell, kahit text mate man lang, wala. and it's a first since i was 13. i dunno how i feel about it. ganito muna for now, i guess. but i'm hoping God surprises me with someone new. hehe.